Mental Health vs. Mental Toughness: You Need Both
“The strongest people I’ve ever met weren’t the loudest in the room. They were the ones who kept showing up when no one clapped. Who lifted others even when they were breaking. Who battled demons no one saw and still got the job done.”
- CoachC
We’ve been sold a lie.
That mental health and mental toughness are opposites. You’re either honest about your feelings or relentless about what you do. That’s false. You need both. Mental health is your foundation. Mental toughness is your forward motion. Without one, the other crumbles. Without both, you break.
MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT A LUXURY. IT’S A LIFELINE.
Let’s get something clear: taking care of your mind isn’t weakness. It’s preparation. It’s protection. It’s what allows you to handle high-pressure, high-stakes environments without imploding from the inside out.
I’ve seen leaders snap—not because they lacked discipline—but because they never paused long enough to deal with what was eating them alive. Pressure didn’t break them. Neglect did.
Mental health is about checking the oil before the engine blows. It’s keeping your internal world aligned so your external one doesn’t collapse. Mental health is a weapon, not a weakness. Protect your peace or pay the price. Maintenance beats meltdown—every time.
BUILDING PRACTICAL TOOLS FOR YOUR MIND
Too often, “mental health” gets thrown around with no tools attached. It’s like telling you how important it is to water your lawn, but not supplying the water. So let’s talk tools, real strategies I have picked up throughout my career. It was called Box Breathing.
This isn’t fluff—it’s Navy SEAL-level calm. I had the great opportunity to speak to several operators while coaching in Seattle. Several of these active-duty SEALs talked about using this method to slow down the nervous system. Here’s how it's done:
1. Breathe in for 4 seconds.
2. Hold for 4 seconds.
3. Exhale for 4 seconds.
4. Hold again for 4 seconds.
Repeat for 3-5 cycles.
After listening to these amazing men, I researched Box Breathing and found that it helps us regain command of our breath, our body, and our brain in moments of chaos. We’re no longer reacting—we’re recalibrating. I’ve taught athletes, other speakers, and some of my clients this before they stepped into pressure-packed arenas.
When I’m about to go on stage to speak, people will ask, “Are you nervous?” I laugh and say, “No, I got this!” How do I know I’ve “got this?” I’ve done my breathing. I’ve recalibrated my brain. I control myself and how I am thinking. It’s simple. But this method resets my entire system.
We must remember that finding calm isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a competitive edge.
MENTAL TOUGHNESS ISN’T ABOUT DENIAL. IT’S ABOUT DRIVE.
Mental toughness has been misbranded as emotionless, stainless, and cold. That’s ridiculous. Real toughness isn’t about pretending life doesn’t hurt. It’s about showing up anyway. It’s about controlling your response when everything’s on fire. When you control what you can control, you have eliminated most of the variables of the problem. Too many times, we are the problem. How we overthink, overact, and overhype a situation puts us behind the eight-ball on day one.
I’ve trained athletes who were injured to such a degree that they shouldn’t have been out of the hospital, yet they still suited up—not out of ego but out of discipline—for the person next to them. I’ve worked with high-level executives who were losing control or had just lost a parent, but still gave their team their all while trying to fill the hole that the loss tore into them.
Mental toughness is about choosing to MOVE when quitting feels easier. It’s not emotionless. It’s emotion under control. Toughness shows up with pain, not without it. We all have our personal pain; your pain is not more or less than the pain of the person standing next to you. But the key is how you deal with the pain. When dealing with the pain, we find that real grit comes from fighting the fight, not burying it.
This isn’t a superpower; mental toughness is a muscle. The more we struggle, the stronger we get. When we train it daily, the battles seem smaller and spread farther apart until one day, you look around and your life has found balance, and you breathe and live one more day.
WHEN TO DIG DEEP VS. DIG OUT
The hard part most people miss is that you can’t “grind” your way through everything. We must come to grips with the concept that sometimes, you need to rest. Sometimes, you need to talk. Sometimes, you need to pause. All too often, the warning signs were there, but they flash by like signs on the interstate, until it's too late and the inevitable crash occurs.
The elite know the difference.
After my run-in with the chicken house fan, I didn’t just “push through.” I took time to step back and look at where I was on my journey. After several weeks of contemplation, I did three things: I reset, rewired, and rebuilt.
I came to understand that my 33-77-1 coaching record was all my fault. In order to get to where I knew I was meant to be, I had to rewire the one thing I did control: my coaching style. So, I stopped being a bully and became the teacher I always knew I should have been. I looked for new mentors and role models. It worked. I went on to win sixteen championships at each level of competitive football.
The first eleven seasons that I struggled in weren’t a setback. They were hard lessons in disguise. Had I tried to “John Wayne” through them and continue with my old coaching ways, I would have never accomplished the success I had always wanted.
Toughness isn’t about avoiding help. It’s about knowing when to ask for it. Some days you push. Some days, you pause. During the pauses, you find that recovery is part of elite performance. And don’t confuse stillness with weakness. During those times of stillness, you have time to meditate and reflect to gain that most precious commodity … perspective.
STACK YOUR TOOLS, DON’T CHOOSE SIDES
You don’t need to be a therapist or a Navy SEAL. But you do need a mental toolkit. Here's how I coach people to stack both strength and self-awareness:
Mental Health Toolkit
Journaling: Dump your chaos. Find clarity. I write EVERY DAY!
Sleep Discipline: 7+ hours. No excuses. This sets the tone for your entire day.
Open Conversation: Find one voice you trust—then talk. Know your crayons!
Environment Shifts: Get outside. Get around better people. Leave the old anchors behind.
Mental Toughness Toolkit
Educate Yourself: Consider viewpoints that you may oppose.
Physical Struggle: Don’t run from hard workouts—run into them.
Early Mornings: Get up earlier than you need. Win the war by starting first.
Daily Challenges: Do one hard thing on purpose every day.
These aren't trends. When they become part of your life, your entire perspective will change. You don’t build mental strength by accident. This is a Get To opportunity. Be excited by the change and let it wash over your life because routine beats motivation every time.
TRAIN THE WHOLE WARRIOR
We need to stop glorifying collapse. Stop applauding burnout. Stop pretending silence equals strength. The future isn’t soft. It’s sharp. It’s people who know how to endure pressure and protect their peace. It’s warriors who’ve trained both their mind and their mission.
“Champions don’t choose between healing and hustle. They sharpen both.” — CoachC
