Dualism: Triggers vs. Glimmers: What Are You Really Training Your Mind to Find?
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We’ve all heard the word trigger thrown around like a buzzer waiting to go off. Triggers are the things that knock us off balance, ignite old wounds, or set our nervous system into high alert. Most people know their triggers—at least the obvious ones. Deadlines. Criticism. The sound of a whistle that reminds them of a coach who broke them instead of built them. The email that hits their inbox with just the right subject line to ruin their day.
What we don’t talk about enough is the other side of the equation.
Glimmers.
I came across this idea recently while I was doing research on relieving anxiety for one of my clients. It hit different—not because it was flashy, but because it was true. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They’re the moments that pull you back to center. The subtle, barely-noticeable cues that tell your nervous system, you’re okay here. That you’re safe, grounded, connected. The world didn’t just get perfect—but for this one breath, it didn’t need to be.
That’s a glimmer.
It might be the weight of your dog’s head on your foot while you’re answering emails.
The sound of laughter from another room.
The way the popcorn smells when you are at a game or a movie.
Or the feeling of a cold barbell in your hands before the day gets noisy.
They’re not moments of escape. They’re moments of arrival. And for high-performers who spend their lives pushing, driving, and staying on edge, those moments aren’t just nice—they’re necessary.
What About Get To’s vs Got To’s
I’ve taught for years about the difference between your Get To’s and your Got To’s. One pulls you toward purpose. The other drags you through obligation. Same tasks. Different mindset.
But Glimmers add a whole new layer to that concept. Because while Get To’s are a matter of perspective, Glimmers are physiological. Neurological. They’re the micro-moments that tell your body it’s okay to take your foot off the gas for a breath. Not in laziness—but in presence.
Triggers tell you to armor up.
Glimmers tell you to enjoy the moment.
Triggers activate your fight-or-flight.
Glimmers remind you to control what you can control.
The more you train your system to notice one, the easier it becomes to ignore the other. And most of us—whether we know it or not—have spent decades reinforcing our triggers. That means you’re not just reacting to stress. You’re rehearsing it. Over and over.
And that’s where leadership, resilience, and even healing starts to shift—not when you get rid of all your triggers (because you never will), but when you outnumber them with Glimmers.
Finding Balance
I used to think the grind was about tolerating discomfort longer than the guy next to you. And in many ways, that’s still true. But what I missed for years was the idea that peak performance doesn’t come from staying tense all the time. It comes from knowing when to release—when to breathe, when to reset, and when to let yourself feel something other than pressure.
The best competitors aren’t just mentally tough. They’re emotionally tuned. They know how to tap into calm when everything around them is loud. They know how to find meaning in monotony and safety in silence. They don’t just train for the fight—they recover inside of it.
Glimmers do that. But only if you notice them.
Rewiring Your System
And that’s the point, isn’t it?
This world trains you to see what’s wrong. That’s how we’ve survived. But if you want to grow—not just survive—you’ve got to retrain yourself to notice what’s right. Not in a toxic positivity way. Not by ignoring the hard. But by building a new reflex. A new wiring that finds the moment inside the madness and says, this is good. This is peace. This is mine.
Because the person who’s always looking for a fight will find one. But the person who starts looking for Glimmers will find something better. They’ll find alignment. Center. A reset that costs nothing but changes everything.
And once you start seeing them, you’ll start stacking them.
Just like Get To’s.
Just like reps.
Just like wins.
Collect the Positive – Reject the Negative
So, here's the challenge: Don’t just name your triggers. Start naming your Glimmers. Hunt for them. Collect them. Recognize the patterns. Train your system to feel calm, not just survive chaos.
Because in a world addicted to adrenaline, peace is a superpower.
And if you want to lead others—if you want to show up full, clear, and composed—you don’t need more hustle. You need more Glimmers.
Train for those.
Your nervous system—your family – and your team—will thank you for it.
