Bet on Yourself: The Ultimate Act of Self-Confidence
“If you are going to bet on anyone, bet on yourself.”
- Kobe Bryant
Every year, when the Kentucky Derby comes and goes, it reminds me of a conversation I had last May with a man I respected, who was talented, capable, and carrying far more potential than he realized. What started as a simple talk about betting turned into something much deeper about self-belief, risk, and the courage to own your future. That moment stayed with me because it revealed something I’ve seen in thousands of people over the years: they will bet on anything … luck, circumstance, someone else’s decision; before they ever consider betting on themselves.
And that’s the real struggle.
Most people don’t lack talent.
They lack belief.
They lack the confidence to trust their preparation, their instincts, and their ability to rise when the moment calls.
After that conversation, I kept thinking about how many people I’ve coached, taught, and spoken to who carried this same blind spot. People who were strong on the outside but unsure on the inside. People who had the potential to move mountains but couldn’t move their own mindset. The truth is simple: your life changes the moment you decide your future is worth betting on.
Reflect on Past Wins and Losses
In thirty-five years of coaching, I learned quickly that the wins feel good, but the losses shape you. Wins are moments. Losses are mirrors. If you want real confidence, you have to look back honestly—at both.
Start with your wins, no matter how small. What did you do to create that success? What habits, preparation, and decisions contributed to it? Wins show your capability.
Then study your losses. Not to beat yourself up, but to understand yourself. What part did you play? What patterns showed up? What did the setback teach you that success never could?
When I finally faced my 33-77-1 record, everything changed. I realized the issue wasn’t talent—it was me. I was yelling instead of teaching, reacting instead of leading. Until you confront the truth of your contribution, you cannot change your direction.
Wins reveal what you can do.
Losses reveal who you need to become.
Together, they build your foundation.
Visualize and Act with Confidence
Every opportunity begins with uncertainty. That split second where pressure and possibility collide. What you do in that moment determines whether you shrink or step in with confidence.
Visualization has been one of the most powerful tools of my life. Before I lift a weight, I see the entire movement in my head. Before I give a talk, I rehearse alone, walking the space, pacing the beats, feeling the rhythm until the message becomes part of me. By the time I face the actual moment, I’ve already lived it. That isn’t ego. It’s preparation.
Visualization turns fear into familiarity.
Familiarity turns hesitation into confidence.
Here are the same tools I use:
Daily Affirmations: Prime your mind before doubt tries to distract you.
Walk & Talk Throughs: Practice ownership of space, tone, and message.
Mental Reps: Slow down long enough to see success before it happens.
Great performers don’t rise by accident. They rise by rehearsal.
Define Your Goals and Set a Course
Success doesn’t “arrive.” It’s built. It starts with clarity, knowing exactly what you want and why it matters. You write down your goals because written goals become real commitments. You break them into steps because progress needs direction. You set deadlines because accountability fuels discipline. And you speak your dreams to your quarters, your truth-tellers, because they’ll hold you to the standard you claim to want.
A dream without structure becomes frustration.
A dream with structure becomes a strategy.
A strategy with discipline becomes success.
Value Your Time and Protect Your Energy
Your time is your greatest asset. Your energy is your greatest resource. And both are limited.
Before a talk, I eliminate noise: digital noise, emotional noise, relational noise. I clear my schedule, tighten my circle, fuel my body, and prepare my mind. Not because I’m fragile, but because preparation requires clarity, and clarity requires boundaries.
There’s a truth people avoid:
When you’re making poor decisions, your crowd gets bigger.
When you start making strong decisions, your crowd gets smaller.
Some people aren’t friends; they’re co-conspirators in your worst habits. When you outgrow the habit, you outgrow them. The right people don’t fear your growth. They expect it.
Anything that drains your focus is too expensive to keep.
Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
Failure is not the opposite of success. It is the curriculum of success. It teaches what works, what doesn’t, and what needs to change.
When I transitioned out of coaching and into speaking and teaching, I realized something important: I didn’t need the game. I needed the mission. Wins were temporary. Lessons lasted.
After every game, my staff and I ran a CSI (Crime Scene Investigation). We broke down everything: preparation, injuries, decisions, effort, mindset. Not to assign blame, but to assign responsibility. That’s where growth always begins.
And I still do this today.
When I write an article, I run a CSI on the draft. I tear it apart, look for weaknesses, sharpen the message, and refine the flow. When I give a talk, I listen back to the recording for every transition, every emphasis, every missed opportunity, and every moment that landed. That investigative mindset is how I keep improving. The tools changed. The standard didn’t.
Growth doesn’t come from hoping you did well.
It comes from examining the truth of what you actually did.
Ask yourself the same things:
How did I influence this outcome?
What needs to change in how I prepare?
What habits must be strengthened, or removed?
How will I apply this lesson to my next opportunity?
If you don’t self-assess, you self-sabotage.
The Power of Believing in Yourself
Betting on yourself isn’t arrogance. It’s ownership. It’s deciding that you refuse to outsource your life to chance, approval, or circumstance. It’s believing that what you carry is worth investing in.
When you reflect honestly, visualize consistently, set clear goals, protect your time, and learn from failure, you build a foundation strong enough to handle success.
Because breakthroughs don’t come from luck.
They come from courage, the courage to believe in your own potential.
Teachable Reminders
· Wins feel good, but losses teach deeper
· Visualization turns fear into familiarity
· Goals require clarity, structure, and accountability
· Your time reveals your values. Protect it
· Failure isn’t final; it’s instructional
CoachC Insight
“When you finally bet on yourself, your whole life starts moving forward.”
Application Questions
· What part of your life are you waiting on confidence to fix, when preparation is the real solution?
· Which win taught you something important, and which loss taught you even more?
· What goal have you avoided defining because defining it requires commitment?
· Who in your circle sharpens you, and who keeps you comfortable?
· What action can you take today that proves you’re finally willing to bet on yourself?
