“Look at situations from all angles, and you will become more open.”
- The Dalai Lama
I've spent most of my life in football, and one of the first things you learn about tackling is that the shortest distance to the ball carrier isn't necessarily the best route to making the tackle. Sometimes, taking someone head-on is the worst decision you can make. The objective isn't to prove how tough you are. The objective is to get the ball carrier on the ground, and the angle you take often determines whether you make the tackle or become another obstacle he runs through.
I learned that lesson the hard way in high school. During a kickoff, I decided to take on a three-man wedge head-on. I don't remember the second half of that game. In fact, I don't remember much of anything until the following Wednesday. But I was back on the field playing the next Friday. Those were different times, and looking back, I didn't need more toughness. I needed a better angle.
Life is constantly putting obstacles between where we are and where we want to go. Too many people believe the answer is to lower their heads, increase their intensity, and run straight through whatever stands in their way. Sometimes that works, but more often than not, they end up exhausted, frustrated, or flat on their backs, wondering what happened. I've learned that the answer isn't always to push harder. Sometimes you need to change the angle.
The Power of an Angle
Imagine trying to tackle Marshawn Lynch or Cam Skattebo head-on. You're putting your physical well-being in the hands of someone who has made a living running through people who thought they were tougher than he was. You might make the tackle, but there's a pretty good chance you're going to pay for it. A good defender understands leverage, positioning, timing, and angles. He doesn't have to overpower the ball carrier. He has to understand where the ball carrier wants to go and position himself to take away that opportunity.
I've always believed the same principle applies to life. You don't have to overpower every obstacle. You have to understand it well enough to find a better way around it. Taking an angle isn't avoiding the challenge or looking for an easier way out. It's finding the most effective way through. There's a tremendous difference between being determined to accomplish something and being so determined to do it one way that you refuse to recognize a better approach.
Relationships Require Angles
Think about something as simple as asking someone to dance. You can walk straight across the room, introduce yourself, and ask for a dance. Maybe they say yes. Maybe they turn you down before you've finished the question. Or you can pay attention. What kind of music do they enjoy? Are they with a group of friends or standing alone? Are they watching the dance floor or having a conversation? Sometimes using the angle of observation tells you more about your opportunity than all the confidence in the world.
The angle isn't about manipulating someone into doing what you want. It's about understanding the person in front of you and finding the right angle to approach them on. The same applies to marriage, friendships, and the people we encounter every day. Not everyone responds to the same words, the same energy, or the same approach. When you understand the person, you can change your angle without changing who you are. The objective is to make a connection, not force one.
Leadership Is About Finding the Right Angle
I've watched leaders walk into organizations convinced that everything done before their arrival was wrong. They immediately start tearing down systems, replacing procedures, and announcing a new philosophy. They may have the right ideas, but they've chosen the wrong angle. People become defensive. They begin to protect their territory. They throw their heels down and will resist change, not because the change is wrong, but because nobody bothered to understand why things were done that way in the first place.
When I entered a new program, I wanted to know what worked, what didn't, and why. I wasn't interested in preserving a failing system, but I wasn't interested in destroying something valuable just to prove I was in charge. Find the weakness. Understand the resistance. Replace what isn't working and introduce your philosophy in a way that gives people a chance to understand it, wade in so they can see where they fit in, and eventually own it. The angle you take when introducing change can determine whether people become obstacles to your success or partners in accomplishing it.
Different People. Different Angles. One Direction.
After nearly 50 years in weight rooms, I've learned that you cannot coach everyone the same way and expect everyone to become who they are meant to be. Some need to be pushed because they have ability they haven't learned to demand from themselves. Others need to be reminded of who they are because their confidence has taken a beating, and being a bully only makes things worse. Then there are people who “get you” from go; they recognize what needs to be done and take the lead without waiting for instructions. Those people don't need someone standing over them testing their mettle. They need to be trusted and allowed the freedom to continue to move forward.
Three different people require three different angles, but the objective remains the same. A leader who approaches everyone with the same intensity every day will eventually wear people out. The message might be right, but it soon becomes “noise”. Leadership isn't about making everyone respond to you in the same way. It's about understanding the angle that reaches each individual so everyone can contribute to the same goals and standards. The direction is established by the leader, but the angle of approach must fit the person.
My Most Important Angle Was Against Cancer
When I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, I was told I had roughly a 40% chance of surviving. That's a pretty significant obstacle to find standing in front of you. I could have made cancer the center of my life. I could have spent every waking hour thinking about what might happen, worrying about the treatments, or wondering how much time I had left. But I understood something about myself. If I allowed cancer to occupy every thought, it would begin controlling parts of my life that the disease hadn't even touched. I needed an angle that allowed me to fight what was happening inside my body without surrendering everything happening outside of it.
I couldn't change the diagnosis, and pretending it wasn't serious wasn't going to accomplish anything. I accepted what was in front of me and concentrated on what needed to be done. Chemotherapy had its time. Radiation had its time. The needles, the hard nights, the exhaustion, and the uncertainty were all part of the process. I didn't have to like any of it, but wasting energy fighting the reality of those treatments wasn't going to make them disappear. I learned to deal with what was immediately in front of me, get through it, and move on with my life. There was no advantage in mentally living through tomorrow's treatment while I was still dealing with today's.
I could have curled up in a ball and quit. Instead, three months after my diagnosis, I accepted the head Strength and Conditioning position at USC. I didn't want sympathy, and I didn't want people walking into the weight room wondering how I was feeling. I didn't want my players or coaches treating me like a sick man who happened to have a job. I wanted to be treated like a coach who had a job to do. In fact, Pete Carroll, the head coach who hired me, was the only one who knew what I was dealing with. When he hired me, I asked him to keep it between us. I wasn't hiding from cancer. I was choosing the angle from which I wanted to live my life while I fought it.
There were difficult days, and there were times when the treatments took more out of me than I wanted to admit. But I learned to separate what I could control from what I couldn't. I couldn't control every reaction my body had to chemotherapy, but I could control whether I spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't guarantee the outcome, but I could prepare for the next treatment, do the work required of me, and refuse to turn my struggle into a crisis. I didn't need to win the entire battle every morning. I needed to handle what was in front of me and keep moving.
That was the angle that worked for me. Cancer had its place in my life. It had its appointments, its treatments, and its consequences, but I wasn't going to allow it to occupy every corner of my mind. I gave the disease the attention required to fight it, but I wasn't going to give it the rest of my life while I was still living. Looking back, I realize that the mental approach was just as important to how I lived through that experience as the physical discipline I had spent a lifetime developing.
A Different Angle: Acceptance Isn't Surrender
I've had the opportunity to spend time around Navy SEALs, and one of the things I've always respected about their training is the mental discipline required to function under conditions most people would consider unbearable. During Hell Week, the physical misery doesn't simply disappear. The cold is still cold. The exhaustion is still real. The pain doesn't suddenly become comfortable. What changes is how the individual responds to those conditions. Rather than allowing discomfort to dominate their thinking, they learn to focus on the next task and the actions they can control.
I recognize that same principle in how I approached cancer, although I certainly wasn't thinking about SEAL training while I was going through chemotherapy. I was simply looking for an angle that let me function without being overwhelmed by everything happening around me. You don't have to be a Navy SEAL to understand that principle. Every one of us comes across situations we cannot change right away, and sometimes the most important adjustment is the angle from which we choose to view them. Acceptance isn't surrender. It's recognizing reality without letting it dictate every decision you make afterward.
That applies to far more than life-threatening illnesses. Not every inconvenience deserves an emotional response. Not every disagreement requires a fight. Not every setback needs to become a catastrophe. When we turn every hard moment into an emergency, we exhaust ourselves before we've even begun solving the problem. Sometimes the smartest angle is to truly understand what's happening, figure out what deserves your attention, and refuse to waste energy on everything else.
Sometimes the Best Angle Is a Story
I've learned that the most effective way to teach someone isn't always to tell them exactly what you want them to know. You can stand in front of a group and lecture them about discipline, accountability, preparation, and responsibility. You might be absolutely correct about every word you say, but people don't always remember instructions. Too many listen and think, “It can't be that easy.” I've found that changing the angle of my approach produces better results. That's why I became a storyteller. People take a story and assimilate it into their own lives, discovering an answer that feels like an epiphany. The lesson becomes theirs, not something they were told by some guy standing in front of them. A story allows someone to see themselves in a situation, recognize a problem, and discover the answer without feeling as though they're being told what to think. It’s the angle that's the key, not beating them over the head with the answer.
A great song works the same way. The songwriter doesn't have to announce the lesson in the first line. The music, the characters, and the story carry you toward a message that becomes clear as you listen. That's what I've tried to do as a coach and a teacher. Instead of driving a lesson straight into someone's forehead, I look for an angle that allows them to discover the answer for themselves. When people discover a principle rather than simply being told what to believe, they are far more likely to make it their own.
The Straight Line Isn't Always the Winning Line
I've never believed that success comes from avoiding difficult things. My life has taught me exactly the opposite. But there is a difference between confronting a challenge and attacking it without thinking. Sometimes you have to lower your shoulder and drive through. Other times you have to change direction, find leverage, adjust your approach, or simply stop giving an obstacle more attention than it deserves. The angle isn't an excuse to avoid the work. It's a way to make sure the work actually moves you toward your objective.
I've spent a lifetime learning that strength without direction can be wasted energy. Intensity without perspective can drive people away. Drive without the willingness to adjust can turn a temporary obstacle into a permanent roadblock. Whether you're trying to make a tackle, build a relationship, lead an organization, fight an illness, or teach someone an important lesson, the angle you choose can change the outcome.
Life will always put something in your path. You get to decide whether you're going to keep running into it or find an angle that moves you forward. The objective is to get where you're going, not to prove how much punishment you can absorb along the way.
CoachC Insight
Throughout my career, I've watched talented people exhaust themselves trying to overpower problems that required a different approach. They had the determination, the work ethic, and the willingness to sacrifice, but they became so committed to the direction they were moving that they never considered whether another angle might produce a better result. I've learned that the ability to recognize when to push forward and when to change direction is one of the most valuable qualities a person can develop. Determination gives you the willingness to continue. Understanding the angles gives that determination a purpose.
The strongest leaders I've known understood that the same approach doesn't work with every person or every situation. They knew when to challenge, when to encourage, when to listen, and when to get out of the way. They didn't compromise their expectations or abandon their philosophy. They adjusted the angle of their approach to give people the greatest opportunity to succeed. The objective was never to prove how strong the leader was. It was to bring out the strength in the people they were responsible for leading.
Life presents the same challenge. Whether you're dealing with a difficult relationship, a struggling business, a personal setback, or something as serious as a life-threatening illness, you don't always get to choose the obstacle standing in front of you. But you can choose how you approach it. Sometimes the greatest demonstration of strength isn't how much punishment you're willing to absorb. It's having the awareness to recognize that there's another way forward. Changing your angle doesn't mean you've surrendered your purpose. It means you've found a better way to pursue it.
Teachable Reminders
The shortest distance between where you are and where you want to be isn't always the most effective path.
Determination without direction can turn hard work into wasted energy.
Changing your angle doesn't mean lowering your expectations or compromising your principles.
Different people require different approaches, but everyone should understand the direction they're working toward.
Acceptance isn't surrender. Recognizing what you cannot control allows you to concentrate on what you can.
Sometimes the most powerful lesson isn't the one you deliver directly, but the one someone discovers through your story.
Application Questions
· What obstacle in your life are you continuing to attack head-on simply because you've convinced yourself that changing direction would mean giving up?
· Are you measuring your progress by how hard you're working or by whether your approach is actually moving you closer to your objective?
· As a leader, are you adjusting your approach to bring out the best in each individual, or expecting everyone to respond to the same message and intensity?
· How much mental and emotional energy are you surrendering to circumstances you cannot control instead of concentrating on the actions you can take?
· What challenge are you facing right now that might look completely different if you stopped trying to overpower it and started looking for a better angle?
